Filthy Plan
by ac1452
Summary: Dorian/Klaus. Dorian takes something from Klaus, Klaus plans revenge. M for language... from Dorian.


"Can't catch me!"

Said that voice followed by laughter that was already disappearing.

"Come here you thief!"

The Major was furious. As he kept running, dodging the trees, skipping over stones, and trying to keep branches from hitting him square on the face; he could picture what he would do to the fop once he did catch him. The Earl would be treated just as he deserved and the major was sure the thief would completely forget (at least for a moment) the major was his beloved as he claimed, and would lose all that etiquette he was so proud of. His plan so far was coming with flashing stars and it seemed that the thief wasn't in the least aware of what was the major planning. _Go straight to the pond fop, so I can make you squirm and beg for mercy. _

"Gee major… I thought you were in better shape than that!"

Said the already panting Earl followed by a little squeak as he changed his course a little to the right just as the major was getting close to him by his left side. _That's right thief, now, just a couple minutes straight and your mine. _The major was already savoring his victory.

"I'll show you as soon as I catch you, you fag!"

He could see blond curls following the Earl like a wave of light, and smirked at the thought of what he would do with that hair so well taken care of. The Earl had made the huge mistake of coming to the Schloss Eberbach to come taunt the major on a Saturday he was relaxing in his garden that was in front of the forest. there were rather, many mistakes; one, he came on a day that the major was not working (as amazing as that sounds)therefore was not tired at all; two, there was nobody (with the exception of Conrad, his butler) that knew better than the major the geographics of his forest; three, the thief was playing with fire … no, not even fire, he was playing with a force of the H atomic bomb itself, when he took one of major's dearest possesions and started running towards the forest. The major now smiled to the thought that when the fop arrived he started with that whimsy conversation of his, he actually made the major drop his alert and in that instant… One thing was for sure, the Earl would pay dearly.

They were getting closer to the pond, the major could see it, he picked up speed so he could leap like a cat on his prey. _A little bit more thief, little to the right, there. _They arrived at the pond, it wasn't big, but it was a nice secluded place, with tress here and there circling the water. The Earl started running along the pond and was obviously trying to figure out where to run now.

"Major… what a delightful… place you have here."

The thief was panting heavily now, despite that, he didn't slow down. The major closed a little bit more behind him, and like a lioness catching a young antelope, spreading her claws wide, he sprung over the Earl.

"Ah! ... what…"

With a thud they both landed on the damp earth. In spring, the humidity here was very high. The major rolled them both so the very edge of the pond was at their immediate left. _Perfect._ Then he turned the thief to lie on his back and made himself comfortable with his right knee on the thief's lower chest. During the last preparations the Earl was trying to escape, but just as thought, with his right hand, the major took both of the thief's hands and held them firmly on the thief's upper chest.

"Now… This I believe belongs to me"

The major took his Magnum from the thief's slim hand, and tuck it safely on his holster; luckily it had the safe on the whole time.

"Major, you're not thinking on drowning me here, do you?

"Of course not you thief, I don't want the water to get contaminated with you."

"Well then major, let me tell you that you are getting quite heavy there. I might as well inform you I also need to breathe."

"Your breathing is just another way to waste air for the rest of us." Snorted the Major

"Now, since you got the guts to play with my magnum, why don't I play with you... my style?"

The Earl's eyes just widened and with a gasp asked "Major... play?... are you high?"

The major shot him with one of his expressions of "How dare you to insult me!" And before the thief knew it, a big muddy, hand filled with more mud from the pond was plastered on his face.

The only sound the thief made was a little squeak from the surprise, which left him open mouthed and just practically not believing what the major had done. His eyes were closed and he started to shake his head to get the mud from the delicate skin on his face.

"Major… now you've done it…" Mud. The major just adorned him with mud. Then as if on clue, a second dose of mud landed on his curly hair.

"What was that thief?"

Said the Major scrubbing the mud all over the thief's head to make sure it stayed there.

"Stop… enough… Damn it! What The HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING! YOU ANIMAL, BASTARD, ARSEHOLE, DIMWIT, BUGGER, AND EVERYTHING ELSE YOU ARE!"

Suddenly, the thief started to trash and since mud got to his iron griped hands, he actually got free and pushed the major out of his way. Sitting up he started to take the mud from face.

"Disgusting! Major you're going to Pay For This YOU HEAR…"

Right in that moment the Major plastered him with more mud on his face making the Earl land on his back again, and taking more mud with both of his hands he started applying mud on the thief's expensive jacket, face, and hair.

"Why are you complaining? I heard that mud is therapeutic." The chuckle did not go unnoticed by the Brit.

The thief started to fight back and avoid the mud at the same time. _Squirming… in disgust, just like I said. _

"Stop! you fucking German!"

Of course, like this the thief would probably choke on it all. So the thief had to start fighting … for real. However, the major saw the punch that was coming to his face, so he just caught it in the air. What the major did not see was the slap that landed on his head, along with the kick that landed on his chest.

"I'm gonna show you what a real mud fight is you bloody wanker!"

Murmured the Earl while crawling to the edge of the pond to get hold of some mud, when suddenly he was tackled for the second time today and he and the major landed with a big splash on the pond. Luckily the pond wasn't deep. Both of them got on their knees and gasped for air.

"You know… heh… drowning you here, doesn't seem a bad idea anymore."

"You big Stupid Tosser... IDIOT! Look what you've done to me! Come here! "

The major now was laughing really hard, while trying to dodge some of the attacks from the splashing Earl.

Of course, in the middle of it all, none of them noticed they had an audience. _Ah, the master finally __found somebody to release his wrath on, and to play with. I must make sure to serve a good meal, and lend him some nice clothes so __the Earl__ can stay for the night._

It came as no surprise that the Earl did not need a room to sleep in, since the Major lent him his own.


End file.
